Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think “I’m not going to make it”, but you laugh inside – remembering all the times you’ve felt that way
Charles Bukowski
Wednesday. Hump Day. For many people, it’s the toughest day of the week and they question whether they have the strength to make it through it in one piece. It’s halfway through the working week, you’re tired and the weekend feels like a very long way off in the distance. All that goes through your head is..How am I going to get through this? This is the question that we are also very quick to ask when faced with a challenging meeting, busy day following a poor night’s sleep, an assignment to submit, the breakdown of a relationship or anything else which fills us with genuine dread and despair.
But… we get through it. We all do. We question whether we can do it, and then we go ahead and make it through, barring any major incidents. In fact, more often than not, the dreaded day or event comes to pass, and it is in no way as bad as what we had been imagining in our heads. Day in, day out. Week in, week out. We survive and thrive. That’s because we are incredibly resilient, and have a lot more strength, patience and powers of perseverance than we give ourselves credit for. We dig deep and find the energy, the patience, the solutions, the mental strength or anything else which we need.
This is why we need to cut-out the negative self-talk. If, asking yourself “how am I going to do this” fills you with fear, then you have some work to do. Instead of being an excuse to wallow in self-pity and give up, this question should excite you and get your creative juices flowing. Develop the ability to see this question as a challenge, and then do whatever it takes to meet the challenge. You can do this with some follow-up questions to the initial “How am I going to get through this?”
- What do I need to get through this? A deadline extension? Coffee? Someone to talk to? Advice…
- What skills, knowledge or resources do I have at my disposal which can help me get out of this sticky situation?
- How have i navigated my way through similarly tricky challenging situations in the past?
- What is the worst that can happen, and what can I do to ensure that it doesn’t happen?
It is very difficult, feels very weird and will take time and practice to master this. The good news is that when you do, life becomes infinitely more exciting. Moments that would have previously driven you to despair will now become an opportunity to learn, challenge yourself and grow. The negativity gets replaced with a hunger to see just what you are truly capable of.
So, next time, you start to feel anxious about a situation which you are facing or currently dealing with, just remind yourself that you will get through it. Remind yourself too, that these situations are often far worse in our own heads than in reality, and think back to a similar event or occurrence which challenged you and filled you with dread, only for you to come through it relatively unscathed.
We waste far too much time and energy every day second-guessing our abilities, and putting ourselves down. Left unchecked, it destroys confidence and convinces people to stop trying to improve themselves and the quality of life for those around them. They just seem to give up and accept their current circumstances, preferring mediocrity to the risk of failure and embarrassment.
However, when you become able to see the opportunity for growth and progress, the challenge becomes exciting, instead of daunting and scary. Instead of seeing the challenge as something which could break you, learn to look it as your time to shine, to push yourself and discover what you are truly capable of.
That’s not to say that this is easy. Because it isn’t. It does take a lot of practice and hard work, but the results make all the effort worthwhile. As with many other things in life, it’s getting started that’s the trickiest part. So, if you’re struggling with getting started on this shift in perception, begin by thinking back to, and reflecting on, other tricky situations which filled you with dread but ultimately worked out better than expected. This serves to remind you of the power which you posses and put you in the right frame of mind to tackle the situation.
If you have any suggestions of your won to add, please feel free to leave a comment